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William Wallace, Scottish Rebel

SUMMARY:

William Wallace, Scottish rebel, sings about his fearless attacks on the English and the legends that surround him.

Hard Rock parody

Lyrics by Dave Cohen

LYRICS:

I am William Wallace, my life was a mystery
Some say born twelve seven two, some say twelve sixty three.

Was dubbed Malcolm of Paisley, maybe Alan from Aire.
Did I have a wife or no? Do you really care?

They say I had a big red beard but all you need to know
I was a Scottish rebel and the English were my foe!

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William Wallace, Scottish rebel, this is war I cried
Many English fought me and many English died.

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I took against the English back when I was fairly wee
‘Cos an Englishman called Selby bullied my whole family.

It upset me so I struck him dead - well, wouldn’t you?
Then an English sheriff came along, guess what? I killed him too!

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They say he killed my wife so he deserved what he got
Then England’s King Ed came for me. Ooh, I’m scared - not.

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William Wallace, Scottish rebel, possibly six feet seven
But all that really matters is I sent Englishmen to heaven.

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Forty thousand English came to Stirling Bridge for me
They had to cross a narrow bridge to get to us, you see.
We held them off, pushed them back, it was no contest
Bridge collapsed, hundreds drowned, of course I killed the rest.

I celebrated Stirling Bridge, another Scottish win
By decorating my sword with the English general’s skin.

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William Wallace, Scottish rebel, Scottish legend too
Fought for Scottish freedom, was a hero through and through.

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Here’s where my rebel story comes unstuck
At Falkirk, defeated, I’d run out of luck
Spent seven years playing hide and seek
Captured, sent to London, tried for treason
What a cheek!

King Ed hanged me then, a lovely touch
Pulled my guts out; guess he didn’t like me much!

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William Wallace, Scottish rebel, in Scotland my heart lived
Though sadly my head wound up on a spike on London Bridge.

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