LYRICS:

Yo! Yo! Put down your quill, this show is about to get real!

Writers in the house, drop a beat!

 

You can call me Jonson I’m straight out of jail

I scribble down my things so that I can post bail.

I wrote thirty plays, I’m a lyrical saviour

Got sent to prison for my lewd behaviour.

 

Christopher Marlow, street name ‘Kit’.

Did time in Holland ‘cos my cash was counterfeit.

Mention I’m a spy and you’re gonna get hit

Obviously I can’t talk about that bit.

 

S to the P to the E to the ENSER,

Spenser, an actor, I act more like a fencer.

Stabbed a man but I’m claiming self-defence, yeah.

To the writer’s in the pub, things are getting tenser!

 

I am Shakespeare, I’m working hard on my writing

I’ve got sound investments, and I’m not into fighting.

My plays are wild, but I’m financially prudent

They want to go to prison, but personally I wouldn’t.

 

Listen up bro! I killed a man who was armed with some candles.

I’d fight a duel if you wore the wrong sandals.

I’m in jail so much that I’m wearing out my cuffs

You can call us writers but we’re just a bunch of roughs!

 

I am Shakespeare, I do the job properly

Building my plays and a portfolio of property.

I want to write the greatest plays ever

But staying out of trouble, would seem to be clever.

 

No, no, no way! I’m gonna die drunk in a fight!

Keep it real, he’s gonna kill me for a slight.

I’m fighting so often, there’s barley time to write

Forget about the quill we’ll be up all night!

 

Interesting. Her majesty, Queen Elizabeth the First:

I’m Queen, L to the I to the Z.

I’m ruling this land from the sea to the sea.

Shakespeare’s plays are the plays I wanna see

So drop another Falstaff ting on me!

 

King James, her successor, feeling just the same

I like them so much that I’m giving him my name.

The King’s Men - the greatest in the land.

Isn’t this nice, turned out grand.