LYRICS:

I'm Philip the second, I'm the King of Spain

I'm Liz the first and over England I reign

I married your sister, Mary One

But I'm queen now that she has gone

​

I need a new wife, you're the perfect fit

Apart from the not being a Catholic bit

If we get together our countries can be friends

And if I say no? The friendship ends

​

Ah you're everything I'm looking for, it's an easy decision

All you gotta do is change your religion

You know what, Philip, I'll take my chances

I'm not interested in having romances

​

Europe ain't big enough for the both of us

If that's the way you want it I can cause a fuss

I got the power of a Spanish empire, I can deploy, yeah

Well I'll do everything I can just to annoy ya

​

You and me, a rivalry

A war of words, a war at sea

​

I'll send Francis Drake to steal your treasure

I'll back your enemies for good measure

I'll be supporting loads of Catholic plots

To have you replaced with Mary Queen of the Scots

​

Do you what you like, that don't scare me much

I'll get you involved in a war with the Dutch

Let's see how you cope with my Spanish Armada

Ha, is that all you've got? You're gonna have to try harder

​

OK, so my Armada turned out not be a threat

And actually landed me in quite a bit of debt

We'll turn the screw and send our own fleet

And lose 40 ships and have to retreat

​

Is this constant warring ever gonna end?

Could've been so different if we could have been friends

So, let's both die before hostilities cease

And leave it to our successors to work out peace

​

You and me, a rivalry

A war of words, a war at sea

Protestant Liz, Catholic Phil

Both going in for the kill.

​