LYRICS:

Of all the kings called Henry I'm the one you've rarely heard.

Shakespeare wrote four, five, six, eight but seven not a word.

People think I'm dreary, to some extent I am

But look a little closer, glam, bam, thank you ma'am!

 

I didn't agree with King Richard three

So I fought him at Bosworth field and won, victory!

How cool does it sound, that I'm the king who found

Richards crown in a hedge on the winning battle ground.

The only way to end war and avert further disaster

There's got to be a way to unite York and Lancaster!

 

I'm the original ch-ch-ch Tudor,

Founder of that dynasty.

The man who closes the Wars of the Roses,

That's right, that's right, that's me!

 

I launched attacks on lords who earned stacks

Mine was a noble cause to tap them all for tax.

They paid their share, was only fair

To make England rich and me a millionaire.

Elizabeth York became my wife for life, that make me a bore?

Joined our family seats, that's neat, made my rule secure.

 

I'm the original ch-ch-ch Tudor

Returning power to the state.

Seemed quite toothless but actually ruthless

I made the monarchy great.

 

Spent a long time fighting pretenders to the throne

Lambert Simnel, Perkin Warbeck said my throne was their own.

They claimed they'd been the princes, in the tower their rule delayed

I said 'this crown aint big enough for the three of us' and had one slayed!

 

I'm the original ch-ch-ch Tudor,

King of foreign policy.

To win hostile relations with enemy nations

I asked them to make friends with me.

 

Yeah, the original ch-ch-ch Tudor,

They say dullness my main trait.

Well that's a sad indictment, cos if you're looking for excitement

My son was Henry the Eighth!