top of page

Terrifying Tower of London Song

Having guarded the Tower of London since Tudor times, the Yeoman Warders (or 'Beefeaters') have seen a lot going on in the UKs most secure castle, from famous inmates to polar bears!

PARODY OF

Sucker by the Jonas Brothers

WRITTEN BY

Ben Ward

FROM

Series 10 Episode 11

LYRICS:

We guard a tower

We guard a white tower in London

A seat of power, yeah

A place where anything can happen

​

It's been a mint, a royal zoo, a castle protecting you

It was wood when it was new, now it's a museum

For the Krays and Rudolf Hess, William Wallace and Queen Bess,

Walter Raleigh and the rest, it was a prison

​

Here's a mystery for you

The princes in the tower went missing

But people think a clue

Is their uncle Richard became king

​

The Tower's seen all of these terrible days

Like the death of Jane Grey (Jane Grey, Jane Grey, Jane Grey)

A teenager given the crown, must have thought she was made

Got played; she was queen for nine days

​

Kept tigers there

The leopards', panthers' and lions' den

Let's talk polar bears

They had one that swam in the Thames

​

It's been a mint, a royal zoo, a castle protecting you

It was wood when it was new, now it's a museum

For Samuel Pepys and Anne Boleyn, Henry's fifth wife Catherine

Guy Fawkes and more like him, it was a prison

​

Here's a legend for you

While the ravens stay, it'll stand proudly

They guard the tower for you

But if the ravens leave it'll end badly

​

A tower full of all the historical things

Like the death of Anne Boleyn (Boleyn, Boleyn, Boleyn)

Executed by the sword and the case was so thin

Yet no win; her accuser was the king

​

We guard a tower

We guard a white tower in London.

​

bottom of page