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The Cruel Necessity

SUMMARY:

After executing King Charles, Cromwell runs a series of different parliaments, but struggles to make any of them work.

Parody of The Bare Necessities and I Wan'na Be LIke You from The Jungle Book

LYRICS:

It was a cruel necessity, something of a mess but he’s

A right Charlie, too proud a King to work with each MP.

Parliament he did abandon, doesn’t have a leg to stand on

The cruel necessities of God’s will came to me. It came to you. It came to me.

 

We scrapped the Long Parliament leaving us with a rump

Thought supporters would help me but they got the hump.

I tried to delegate the crafts of states, instead all landed on my plate

Had to go and fight in Dublin, leaving dolts in charge was troubling.

 

I ditched the King but those MPs were worse than he.

(Not so easy, eh?) But still a cruel necessity

So many had said to me, Charlie’s off his trolley, Ollie,

Boil his head for tea.

 

But despite de-capitation they dispute my legislation

Those dark ministers will be the death of me.

(You’ll come to me…)

Shut up already!

 

Now I’m not king of these whingers, who make me look a chump

I tell them so, in God’s name go, it’s time to dump this rump.

My new Nominated Parliament, much greater pedigree

They’re excellent chaps, clever too, and all got chose by me.

 

Oh, woop-de-doo, they’re gonna be like me-he-he,

Vote like me, do what I ask them too do-hoo.

I disagree. Who are you? Praise God, Barebones. Oh, praise be!

I don’t like to moan, your army cronies annoy me.

 

Once more it’s a cruel necessity, time to ditch this ministry

Even Barebone Parliament fight among themselves.

What this failing public sector needs now is a Lord Protector!

The nominated nobodies’ governing days are through.

 

You ungrateful crew, you make me spew

It’s like a zoo! Well whoop-de-doo.

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