LYRICS:

Because, you see, it’s all about this base, about this base, nobody’s healed.

This hospital’s a waste of space, worse than the battlefield.

It’s all about this nurse, made it less worse so we all hail

The Lady with the Lamp - Me, Florence Nightingale.

 

Don’t like red painted walls. That’s blood, ma’am. Oo-er!

Probably doesn’t help you’ve built this on a sewer.

Those Russians good at killing our men in Crimea

But not half as good as this place, Central Station Diarrhoea.

 

First I brought in some towels so when emptying their bowels

Then at least their botties were clean. (Isn’t funny!)

Helped them get off their backs, offering tasty fresh snacks

In the hospital canteen. (Yummy, yummy!)

Took one look at the squalor and cases of Cholera

Sores and dysentery. (Poorly tummy!)

And then, here’s the surprise, bought the stolen supplies

Back with my own money.

 

Because, you see, it’s all about this base, about this base – Don’t get annoyed!

I’ll get a brand-new pillow case, clear all trace of typhoid.

It’s all about this nurse, fortunes reversed, at the double

Helping soldiers feel less worse, don’t need a hearse. No trouble!

 

Took my light round at night, checked the men were alright

And not suffering too much pain. (Feeling peaky!)

Most of all I was spying, check nurses weren’t lying

But doing what they were saying. (Pretty sneaky!)

I ensured that the kitchen dished out good nutrition

And everyone got enough. (Bubble and squeak-y!)

And found that over time that the deaths did decline.

Turns out she sure knows her stuff!

 

Because it’s all about this base, about this base, sanitation

All about control of disease incubation.

Yes, it’s all about this nurse and how she turned her abhorrence

Of this curse into a cleaner universe. Cheers Florence!