LYRICS:

Your parents don’t think I’m bad

You’ve been polite to my dad

If we go too fast they’ll be sad

We must court in the right way.

​

All of our parents approve

So time to make your first move

Via a shiny brass tube

And keep it in our way.

​

Our lives, they are changing

Our marriage, they’re arranging

Your hormones might be raging

But there’s no touching baby.

 

Hey, I just met you and this is crazy

But here’s my call tube, so court me, maybe.

I’m not allowed to touch you, baby

But here’s my call tube, so court me, maybe.

 

My parents think you’re a catch

Yours think we’ll make a good match

I think you’re an itch I could scratch

But something’s in our way.

​

And as we talk more and more

I think it’s you I adore

But this bundling board

Has been put in our way.

​

This is to see if I can

Sleep next to a real man

In a way that’s Puritan

(You can still use the trumpet, baby!)

 

Getting to know you and this is crazy

But here’s my call tube, so court me, maybe.

We are together but separated

Love regulated; keeps parents happy.

 

We are romancing, Puritanically

I think I like you, let’s get married, maybe

We can get together and have a baby

Won’t need my call tube when I’m your lady.