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Celtic Boast Battle

SUMMARY:

Boast Battle! Two Celts go head to head in a rap battle, boasting about their cool Celt customs.

Hip-hop parody

Lyrics by Ben Ward

LYRICS:

Boast battle!

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So let’s clear the air, grab a chair
I’ve got flair when I fight a bear
I rip off it’s skin for my wife to wear
I did it for a dare, I’m your worst nightmare –
Look close, check out my facial hair.

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Relax, face facts, a fight with you would be an anticlimax
When you go to war you don’t take off your slacks
Look at me, I’m tough, I fight in the buff
I could say more but I’ve said enough so…

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Boast Battle! Have some grace, shut your face

Boast Battle! Braedon boy, you’re well off the pace.

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Seems to me that you’re not even skilled
I can fill a lake with the blood I’ve spilled
I decorate my house with heads of men I’ve killed
I’d stab you right now but I’m trying to chill.

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Yeah, you got a brain, but you’ve just got one
I’ve got five on my belt from the battles I’ve won
In a rage, on a rampage, I’ve killed more men then old age so…

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Boast Battle! And I’ve only just begun

Boast Battle! And I’m not even done!

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You’re just killing the enemy, that’s lazy,
I kill my own people, I’m that crazy
I go berserk and my eyes go glazy
I get so mad I could stab a daisy (but I won’t cos that would be stupid).

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All right, all right - stop.
Think a while. Look at your style man, that’s vile
You look like you’ve been dressed by a reptile
You’re a steaming pile, I’m dressed like a King
I wear a torc round my neck when I’m doing my killing
And on my finger I’m wearing a ring
When I said I fight nude I wasn’t counting my bling.

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Boast Battle! Oh, and I paint myself blue

Boast Battle! That is way, way cooler than you.

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So what's better than you that you ought to bow?
I’d offer to fight you but you wouldn’t know how
Enough with the talk yeah, let’s end this now,
I can sum it all up in just one word…

Ow! Muuum!

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