LYRICS:

Everything your teacher says is proved to be a fable
There never was an Arthur, nor the Knights, nor a round table.
The Lady of the Lake was just a made up story too
I hate to disappoint you all but it’s not true!

It’s not true!

Teacher, though you jibber
You’re just a great big fibber
There was no Excalibur.

Galahad? No such lad.
Lancelot? Lance-not.
Guinevere? Dear, oh dear!
Look at me - I’m real enough!
Not true, Merlin! Disappear!
There were no wizards, so it’s clear
That it’s not true!

​

While we’re on the subject I’m afraid I must confess
Though Dick Turpin was a highwayman he never owned Black Bess.
And Tutankhamen’s tomb was never hit by any curse.
There never was a dragon slain by George, it gets worse!

​

Pirates never made their victims walk the plank on ships.
Sir Walter Raleigh wasn’t first to bring back spuds or chips.
Robin Hood and Marian a made up story too.
Outlaws out in Nottingham? It’s not true!

It’s not true!

Teach, you’re such a liar
Your pants are catching fire
There never was a Friar Tuck

Viking hat? No horn on that.
King Alfred’s cake? Big mistake.
It never fried? The old books lied.
Frankly, I deplore ya
I hope these kids ignore ya
‘Cos in fact Queen Victoria
Never said ‘We are not amused’.

​

(Your children think I said what?
They think you said ‘we are not amused’, your Highness.
Really? That’s quite funny, isn’t it?)

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
Ha, ha ha!

It’s not true, it’s not true!
It’s not true, it’s not true!
It’s not true, it’s not true!
It’s not true!