LYRICS:

Stone Age brought you speech, farms, the wheel and fire
Then metal was explored which meant we could make swords

To kill, and build empires.

Think Ancient Egypt was nicer? Pharaoh’s tombs, lovely shrines?
But some were living graves for hundreds of poor slaves

And pig’s eye was our cure for the blind.

Greek civilisation, our creation, drama and philosophy
But Sparta praised lying, celebrated dying and Hippocrates drank wee.

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We’re History, we brought you bloodshed
Greek excursions to battle the Persians, disembowelling our dead.
Together we made the world a little bit grim

We’re History - could be fairly dim.

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We Romans brought you roads and public medicine
Gladiator fighting, feeding men to lions, burning Christians

That kind of thing, you know.

Then came the Middle Ages; Saxons, Normans, Vikings, Celts.
A time of invasion, feudalism, famine, Black Death, bubos and welts.
1066 saw Harold in a fix as William conquered all
What was the bettin’ an arrow in his retina would lead to his downfall?

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We’re History, we brought invasion and strife
We attacked monasteries, said 'give us gold, please', then we took your life!
Our crusades meant slaughter wherever we’d go
We’re History - was it pretty? No.

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Tudor, Stuart, Georgian monarchs next in line
Brought progress in science and art.
Also be-headings, burning, civil war

Breed an economy, for a start.

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We’re History, we gave you plague and disease.
Travelled, found the Incans, spread smallpox in a blink and

Brought them to their knees.
Dogs, cats and the French blamed for plague along the way
We’re History - not such happy days.

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Victorian technology went hand-in-hand with poverty,
Kids up chimneys and down mines.
Improvements to the world did pick up, despite some violent hiccups
Two World Wars, millions died.

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We’re History, our times smelly and gory
We reigned over you and told you what to do
And that is this story.
Thought we were amazing though you may quibble
We’re History and we made it horrible!
We’re History.