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Alfred the Great: I'm Out of Town

SUMMARY:

Despite the odds, Alfred is king of Wessex and has to raise the stakes if he wants to keep out the Vikings out of town. But what about the cakes?

Parody of Lego House by Ed Sheeran

LYRICS:

I had four brothers, future Kings every man

Aethelbald, Aethelred, Aethelbert and Athelstan.

I’m not an Aethel but I’ll end up being king

They mostly ended up the wrong end of a Viking.

 

Every time I spoke to Viking Guthrum to try to broker peace

He always seemed to break his promise, so ceasefire had to cease.

His armies entered Exeter, I caused him strife

But he fought back, so now I’m fighting for my life.

 

I’m out of town, I’m in retreat

Don’t want to end up as Viking meat.

I’ve hurried off, I am upset

Hiding in the marshes of Somerset.

 

I’m on the run though I’m supposed to be top man

Think I’m beat but this is neat; it’s my royal master plan.

I know this land so well I’ll catch him hit and run

Mount attacks on Viking shacks - It’s like I’ve won.

 

On the Isle of Athelney in where great legends all began

People say that while I was there I burnt cakes in a pan.

They say was nothing left, but smouldering cakey goo

This story real, I must admit it’s not true.

 

I’m out of town, but now I see

A way to win, build a huge army.

I’m hanging in, I’m getting tough

Quite soon those Vikings will have had enough.

 

Now with my army, Guthrun’s men I’m whipping ’em

They exit Exeter, now Chipper in Chippenham.

Proved to the country I’ve got what it takes

But all people ask, though, “Is it true about the cakes?”.

 

I win the fight, I am the King

Tough like my brothers kill the Viking.

I’m number one, I am the boss

You mess with me and that’ll be your loss.

​

I won the war, came out on top

Viking rule managed to stop.

I raised the stakes, I got the breaks

But I didn’t really burn the cakes.

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