LYRICS:

Meet my family

Nine children, my husband and me [and I still look this good]

Meet my family

And I love them all equally [well, maybe not Bertie].

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My first child was my namesake, Victoria

She learnt French from age one.

Then, after hours of pain, I had Bertie

The crown prince of tantrums [such a temper].

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Next came Alice, sensitive, caring

Jekyll to Bertie's Hyde.

Then came Alfred, the daredevil

Who was the zaniest of all nine.

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Meet my family

Alfred climbs houses and leaps streams [since he was a baby!]

Meet my family

My brooch is made from Vicky's teeth! [Too much info?]

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Our fifth child is Princess Helena

Gifted in music and art.

Then, Louise, who had so much more talent

Outdid Helena from the start.

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Next came Arthur followed by Leo

Who's the fragile one.

We had to really protect him

'Cos his skin bruises like a plumb [and that's not fun!]

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Meet my family

Beatrice would always take care of me [number nine!]

And that's my family

I love them unconditionally...

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[Apart from maybe Bertie because he really was a bit of a brat]