Rotten Romans in Britain Song
Roman rule in Britain ended in 410 AD. As they left, Emperor Honorius told Britain they now had to 'look after their own defences' - but what had the Romans ever done for us in the first place?
PARODY OF
Thank You for the Music by ABBA
MUSIC BY
Richie Webb
FIRST AIRED
Series 10 Episode 12
LYRICS:
The Romans said we were all
Savage before they arrived
Said we worshipped our gods
By burning our convicts alive
Then Caesar invaded
Not one time, but two
Finally, Emperor Claudius
Sent over a crew
Who took over our isle
And decided to stay quite a while
​
But I say thank you to the Romans
They brought us olives
Central heating, cats and cabbage
Can we live without them?
They've been here 400 years
Gave us gods to fear
Taught us to read, write
And number our years
So I say thank you to the Romans
For coming over here
​
We lived in small settlements
We were all fierce warring tribes
Now our cities have roads and sewers
To make them smell nice
They taught us their Latin
They brought heated baths
Watching men fighting lions
Is always a laugh
Chester to Londinium
Finally, our country's all one
​
So I say thank you to the Romans
For indoor plumbing
Roman coins,
Paved roads for running
Can we live without them?
400 years what a ball
Civilising us all
Just ignore the Picts over the wall
So I say goodbye to the Romans
May your empire never fall
​
Well, I say good riddance to the Romans
We don't need you no more
​