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Rotten Romans in Britain Song

Roman rule in Britain ended in 410 AD. As they left, Emperor Honorius told Britain they now had to 'look after their own defences' - but what had the Romans ever done for us in the first place?

PARODY OF

Thank You for the Music by ABBA

MUSIC BY

Richie Webb

FIRST AIRED

Series 10 Episode 12

LYRICS:

The Romans said we were all

Savage before they arrived

Said we worshipped our gods

By burning our convicts alive

Then Caesar invaded

Not one time, but two

Finally, Emperor Claudius

Sent over a crew

Who took over our isle

And decided to stay quite a while

​

But I say thank you to the Romans

They brought us olives

Central heating, cats and cabbage

Can we live without them?

They've been here 400 years

Gave us gods to fear

Taught us to read, write

And number our years

So I say thank you to the Romans

For coming over here

​

We lived in small settlements

We were all fierce warring tribes

Now our cities have roads and sewers

To make them smell nice

They taught us their Latin

They brought heated baths

Watching men fighting lions

Is always a laugh

Chester to Londinium

Finally, our country's all one

​

So I say thank you to the Romans

For indoor plumbing

Roman coins,

Paved roads for running

Can we live without them?

400 years what a ball

Civilising us all

Just ignore the Picts over the wall

So I say goodbye to the Romans

May your empire never fall

​

Well, I say good riddance to the Romans

We don't need you no more

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