LYRICS:

Fairy cakes, baby ducks, warm winter mittens
Snowflakes on puppies and cute cuddly kittens
One of these might be your favourite thing
But not me - its scary that makes me go zing!

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Smallpox and scurvy and fatal diseases,
Lesions and lurgy, I like to hear wheezes.
Of bogies and poo, I just can’t get enough
Yes, that’s just a bit of my favourite stuff.

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Scary, hairy
Things that go bump in the night.
Slimy, grimy
I love that stuff that gives you a fright.

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Emperor Vitellius being dumped in Rome's sewers
Branding's with iron for Tudor wrongdoers
Aztecs with thousands of skulls on a rack
Amateur executions - hack, hack, hack, hack!

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Pharaohs all buried with their bottom wiper
Roman deodorant made from a viper
Burke and Hare stealing from Edinburgh's graves
Yes, these are a few of my personal faves.

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Creepy, weepy
Do I prefer pustules or boils? Hmm...
Spooky, kooky
Some of my best friends look like gargoyles.

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William the Conqueror's exploding body
A gutsy performance, a funeral most oddy.
Ivan the Terrible stealing a bishop's togs
Sowed him in bear skins and let out the dogs...

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When I'm feeling just a bit mis
Standing at death's door
I simply remember what makes people barf, and then I just laugh
Loads more!

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Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-Hee-Hee-Hee-Hee!