LYRICS:

Well, I’m a real life cowboy just a quiet, humble fella.

That’s what we’re like, apart from Mike - yeah, I’m more of a yeller!

Sing songs to pass the evenings and because it soothes the herd

So they won’t stampede, unless Mike sings lead

And shouts every single word!

 

‘Cos we’re cowboys, real life cowboys

Not like the ones you see on your TV.

We’ve never held up banks at all

We’re poorly paid and kinda small

If you still wanna be a cowboy stick with me.

 

On your horse for eighteen hours, that saddle sores a curse.

Then you feed your horse and yourself, of course

Though beans just make it worse!

Then you’re back driving cattle, that’s what being a cowboy means

Moving those beasts from west to east.

Sorry, it’s the beans!

 

‘Cos we’re cowboys, real life cowboys

Not like the ones you’ve seen in the movies.

We’re not big hunks like that John Wayne

‘Cos our horses would complain

If you still wanna be a cowboy join us please.

 

You should be aware we have some customs that are strange

Like saying ‘howdy' and not ‘hello’ when you’re out here on the range.

Never touch a cowboy’s hat, never ride his horse.

So what would happen if I took your old mare?

Well, I’d shoot you, of course. (Fair enough! )

 

Cowboys, real life cowboys

Not like the ones you see on silver screens.

We didn’t go out starting fights

‘Cos unions fought for our rights

Now Mike will do a solo thanks to beans!

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And now my friend, I fear

That the end is drawing near

‘Cos we only ruled the range for twenty years!

 

Yee-haw!