Broadcast: Monday 24th June 2019 (CBBC 5:30pm / on iPlayer from 17th June)

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Summary: Rattus is panicking, as the Rat Queen is visiting the sewer and he has no idea how to behave nicely around royalty! Not only that, if he can somehow appear attractive to the Queen, maybe he could be the next Rat King?! Luckily, help is at hand in the (very well-mannered) shape of First Dates’ Fred Sirieix, a man who knows all about how to behave politely in high society. Fred will guide Rattus through the Horrible History of Manners and Etiquette, in a bid to help him on his quest.  On the way a guide to Puritan dating, Jane Austen is on Historical Love Island, and why you shouldn't hold your farts in.

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Sketches: Written by Ben Ward, Jack Bernhardt, Madeline Brettingham, Howard Read, Max Olesker and Claire Wetton.

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• When a Greek soldier finds out his grandfather was shown hospitality by his enemy's grandfather, he protects the enemy soldier and gives him gifts according to the Greek custom of xenia.

• Thomas Coryat brings the first fork to England, to the mockery of his friends in the "Fraternity of Sireniacal Gentlemen".

• A man desperate not to be rude in front of the Roman Emperor dies in a rather unusual way.

• Historical Saturday Kitchen Live: Kate McCook interviews chefs from a variety of time periods and places who all share an ingredient: human body parts (parody of Saturday Kitchen).

• Queen Victoria is a quick eater, which turns a posh Victorian dinner into a competition.

• A Victorian lady considers hiring a professional mourner for her husband's funeral.

• Sir Harry Breaky-Bottom teaches his ThouTube viewers about important points in the code of chivalry, such as poetry and painting.

• Song: Court Me Maybe - Puritans had some very strict rules, especially when it came to courting. Young lovers had to be supervised at all times and had to talk through an eight foot tube!

• Georgian Fan Messages: To help young Georgian ladies use their fan to communicate with men without speaking to them - as long as they don't use the wrong gesture (advertisement).

• Pitz! lets Tudor women tell men they're interested in them - by giving them an apple they keep in their armpit (advertisement).

• Historical Love Island: Jane Austen is hoping to meet the man of her dreams - but will he be ready for all the rules of Georgian courting?

• Indian love guru Vātsyāyana gives a modern man advice on how to salvage his date.

Cast & crew: See Series 8 page

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