LYRICS:

Here’s the thing, I’m the King

I have ministers and minions

Millions, well a few, so let me tell you about my court life.

 

Most days I’m awake by 5am. I love clocks!

I’m a dull man who likes dull food

Boiled eggs, toast, plate. (Fork knife!)

 

Then its off to prayers, I love praying!

Like clocks too, but not as much as I like God

And believe in the (next life!)

 

Happy to spend hours in ice-cold churches.

Not sold on all this cold drama

Frankly calmer as a dairy farmer!

 

All the courtiers

Noble sons and daughters

We all bow hand in hand

Bending backs in my court life!

 

Did I tell you I like clocks?

I don’t like loud knocks on the door

It enrages my sense of enormous well-being. (Quiet life!)

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I don’t ask much of my pages,

Just no coughing, spitting, sneezing or moving!

(Still life!)

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Oh, and don’t come between me and the door

Else you’re stuck here until me or the Queen decides to leave.

(Poor wife!)

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And when you enter the room

Walk slowly backwards towards the wall.

(Whoops, careful now!)

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All the courtiers,

Noble sons and daughters

We all bow and offer our hands

Think most of them can’t stand court life!

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(Do you know what one means?)