Celtic Boast Battle
SUMMARY:
Boast Battle! Two Celts go head to head in a rap battle, boasting about their cool Celt customs.
Hip-hop parody
Lyrics by Ben Ward
LYRICS:
Boast battle!
So let’s clear the air, grab a chair
I’ve got flair when I fight a bear
I rip off it’s skin for my wife to wear
I did it for a dare, I’m your worst nightmare –
Look close, check out my facial hair.
Relax, face facts, a fight with you would be an anticlimax
When you go to war you don’t take off your slacks
Look at me, I’m tough, I fight in the buff
I could say more but I’ve said enough so…
Boast Battle! Have some grace, shut your face
Boast Battle! Braedon boy, you’re well off the pace.
Seems to me that you’re not even skilled
I can fill a lake with the blood I’ve spilled
I decorate my house with heads of men I’ve killed
I’d stab you right now but I’m trying to chill.
Yeah, you got a brain, but you’ve just got one
I’ve got five on my belt from the battles I’ve won
In a rage, on a rampage, I’ve killed more men then old age so…
Boast Battle! And I’ve only just begun
Boast Battle! And I’m not even done!
You’re just killing the enemy, that’s lazy,
I kill my own people, I’m that crazy
I go berserk and my eyes go glazy
I get so mad I could stab a daisy (but I won’t cos that would be stupid).
All right, all right - stop.
Think a while. Look at your style man, that’s vile
You look like you’ve been dressed by a reptile
You’re a steaming pile, I’m dressed like a King
I wear a torc round my neck when I’m doing my killing
And on my finger I’m wearing a ring
When I said I fight nude I wasn’t counting my bling.
Boast Battle! Oh, and I paint myself blue
Boast Battle! That is way, way cooler than you.
So what's better than you that you ought to bow?
I’d offer to fight you but you wouldn’t know how
Enough with the talk yeah, let’s end this now,
I can sum it all up in just one word…
Ow! Muuum!
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